Chapter 13

We Are All Many

[begin excerpt]

Les was saving me a seat in the classroom. I sat down, unlocked my briefcase and pulled out the treasured envelope. Smiling at Les, I opened the envelope and pulled out several pages which were copies of pages handwritten by Hubbard. I began to read.

The head of the Galactic Federation (76 planets around larger stars visible from here) (founded 95,000,000 years ago, very space opera) solved overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet, 178 billion on average) by mass implanting. He caused people to be brought to Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H-bomb on the principal volcanos (Incident II) and then the Pacific area ones were taken in boxes to Hawaii and the Atlantic ones to Las Palmas and there "packaged."

His name was Xenu. He used renegades. Various misleading data by means of circuits etc. was placed in the implants.

When through with his crime loyal officers (to the people) captured him after six years of battle and put him in an electronic mountain trap where he still is. "They" are gone. The place (Confederation) has since been a desert. The length and brutality of it all was such that this Confederation never recovered. The implant is calculated to kill (by pneumonia etc) anyone who attempts to solve it. This liability has been dispensed with by my tech development.

One can freewheel through the implant and die unless it is approached as precisely outlined. The "freewheel" (auto-running on and on) lasts too long, denies sleep etc. and one dies. So be careful to do only Incidents I and II as given and not plow around and fail to complete one thetan at a time.

In December 1967 I knew someone had to take the plunge. I did and emerged very knocked out, but alive. Probably the only one ever to do so in 75,000,000 years. I have all the data now, but only that given here is needful.

One's body is a mass of individual thetans stuck to oneself or to the body.

One has to clean them off by running Incident II and Incident I. It is a long job, requiring care, patience and good auditing. You are running beings. They respond like any preclear. Some large, some small.

Thetans believed they were one. This is the primary error. Good luck.

The remaining pages in the packet I had been given elaborated the detailed procedures to be used in auditing out one's "body thetans."

Break came, and I was feeling very perplexed as I followed Les out of the building.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked eagerly.

I was feeling very strange. I had been programmed under hypnosis for ten years to accept as gospel everything said or written by Hubbard. I had paid thousands of dollars to gain access to the privileged OT 3 material. I was programmed to believe. But the materials were too absurd to be believed. The result was that my mind, like a computer which has come upon data impossible to analyze, simply refused to compute. I felt as if my mind had been completely shut down. I had an eerie sensation of mental "floating," of being mentally suspended in time and space.

Hubbard had jammed my mind. And from that point I became a total pawn. Not able to think, I was a completely programmable stimulus-response machine. I had become a robot. Or, to use the phrase now popular among ex-Scientologists, a "Rondroid."

"I feel sort of strange," I said to Les. "I feel like I'm floating. And I'm not sure I understood what I just read."

"What didn't you understand?"

"Well, is he saying that because this guy Xenu, millions of years ago, blew up thousands of thetans and caused them to become clustered together, that now everyone on Earth is some kind of multiple personality? And that what we have to do now is audit all these other thetans stuck to us so that they can leave and go get their own bodies?"

"Exactly," Les looked at me proudly. "You understand it just fine. You see, everything in Scientology has been leading up to this level. The purpose of your lower grades was to erase some of the lighter charge from your mind. And Power enabled the dominant being in the "cluster" to separate out so that it you could audit the rest of the guys."

"You mean that everyone on the upper levels is just auditing to get rid of their `body thetans?'" I was still incredulous.

"Well, you have to do it to appreciate what it will do for you. You won't believe how good and clean you will feel after a few hours of OT 3." He put his arm around my shoulder.

"It kind of reminds me of a dog getting rid of its fleas," I remarked. "Somehow, it's just not what I had expected."

During the remaining days on the course, I learned how to locate and "run" my "body thetans." You had to close your eyes and locate a feeling of pressure somewhere on your body. Then telepathically audit the body thetan. You would first audit the thetan through Incident II, which was done by asking the thetan to visualize:

1. The area of the atomic explosion (Hawaii or Las Palmas).
2. The H-bomb dropped on the volcano.
3. The explosion.
4. Terrific winds.
5. The thetan carried over the peak of the volcano.
6. An electronic ribbon coming up.
7. The thetan sticking to the electronic ribbon.
8. The ribbon pulled down and the thetan implanted.
9. A picture of a pilot saying that he is "mocking it up."
10. Implant pictures, including God, devil, etc.
11. The thetan "cognites" and leaves.

1. Loud snap.
2. Waves of light.
3. Chariot comes out, turns right and left.
4. Cherub comes out.
5. Blows horn, comes close.
6. Shattering series of snaps.
7. Cherub fades back (retreats).
8. Blackness dumped on thetan.

This "implant," according to Hubbard, happened four quadrillion years ago. I dutifully completed the "theory section" of the course, then took my E-meter back to the house and began to audit OT 3.

I held the Solo cans in my right hand, leaving my left hand free to work the meter and write my session notes.

I closed my eyes.

Soon I felt a pressure on my head (or imagined I did). There was a flicker on the meter.

I concentrated on making telepathic contact with the disembodied being. "Was it Hawaii or Las Palmas?" I asked the invisible thetan, watching my meter for a reaction.

"Las Palmas. Good" I acknowledged him.

Then I had him visualize Incident II. If I got a floating needle, it meant that the body thetan had left me. If the needle didn't float, then I had to audit the thetan on Incident I. I tried to do my best at this procedure, but I was soon in trouble.

"You're going to need a review," the "Tech Sec" (Technical Secretary) looked at me seriously.

I walked glumly from the AO back to my house. I was scheduled for a Review tomorrow. I was still experiencing the strange floating feeling. My mind was still suspended. I could not think.

Lately I had been having strange nightmares. I was feeling more and more peculiar. And it was getting worse.

In my Review, it was found that I had "overrun" the last body thetan I was auditing. This was corrected and I was sent back to my house to continue the auditing. After several more sessions, I managed to obtain a dial-wide floating needle, and was declared to be an OT 3 Completion.

But where were my gains? Why wasn't I able to leave my body at will, as had been advertised? Where were my psychic abilities?

I began to have an alarming array of physical problems. There was an outbreak of hepatitis at the house. A health department nurse came to innoculate everyone living in the house, but I had already begun to run a high fever. I was audited to spot the suppressive I was connected to. Nothing came up. I continued to have nightmares. On two occasions I woke up in the dark, screaming, thoroughly alarming the other people sleeping in the room.

I started to have migraine headaches severe enough to keep me in bed for the whole day. And even though I was taking the antibiotics mandated by the health department, my fever persisted.

Finally, I was called into Tech Services. I felt more dead than alive.

"I'm afraid you are going to need some more advanced auditing than OT 3," I was informed by the Tech Sec. "Some people resolve most of their "case" on OT 3, but others require an additional auditing procedure."

The auditing that I needed, I was told, was a new level just developed by Hubbard called New Era Dianetics for OT's, or NED for OT's. The cost: $8,000 per 25 hour "intensive." Unfortunately, I would not be accepted by the AO for this auditing unless I bought at least two intensives of NED for OT's. In addition, I would have to fly to the more advanced AO in Clearwater, Florida to do this new level.

I was routed back to the Registrar. At this point I was beyond caring about the cost. I signed over the balance in my account, $16,000, to the AO. It was all or nothing. I flew to Florida.

In November of 1979, I arrived at "Flag," the new "Flag Land Base" established when Hubbard had brought the floating Sea Org ashore several years before. I was given a room with two other "OT's" in the Scientology hotel.

In my first NED session, I was told that there were additional body thetans stuck to me that needed to be audited. These "BT's" had not responded to OT 3 because they were "unconscious" or "asleep." Before they could be audited, they had to be awakened.

The sessions continued in the bizarre fashion of the OT 3 sessions. First I had to close my eyes and locate a "ridge" of sleeping "BT's." I had to close my eyes, visualize the ridge of dormant "BT's" and flow energy at them until they woke up. Then they could be audited on OT 3.

Finally, ten years too late, I balked.

"No way. This is ridiculous. I can't do this. This isn't what I expected." From the day I started NED for OT's, my life became a constant Review session. I was becoming more and more desperate. I panicked as the money and the time in my intensives dwindled. I was getting no results.

"This isn't working," I complained to the Examiner. "You have to find out what's wrong."

I started to complain to other students who were on the same level. "It's not working for me. Is it working for you?"

"Yes," they would answer. "It's incredible. I'm having incredible wins."

In the warped logic of a Scientologist, it was forbidden to think that there might be something wrong with the "tech." In other words, it was forbidden to think or say that the "Emperor had no clothes."

Therefore there must be something wrong with me. But what?